SPOILERS: Cara Takes Extreme Measures in “Princess” (S2E13)
WARNING: This post contains spoilers. If you haven’t yet watched the episode and don’t want to know what happens in advance then stop reading right now! No, really, stop reading! We mean it! This post outlines pretty much everything that happens in the episode so make a note; you were warned!
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The Sisters of the Dark are at it again!!! This time they have a ring of magic and are about to sacrifice one of their own. It looks like they stab her to death with some sort of ceremonial dagger and the rest of the sisters begin chanting. Guess what, they are bringing a spirit back to inhabit the body; want to take a guess who they bring back? That’s right! Sister Nicci is back and she has a brand new face. Apparently Jolene Blalock’s wasn’t pretty enough?
In the woods (shocking, I know) our Scooby Gang is gathered around a nice fire eating while Cara is chopping wood. Apparently she isn’t very happy having to do menial camp chores. All of a sudden two winged beasts come swooping in and they grab Kahlan and haul her off. Richard, being ever so quick, like a mofo Ninja, jumps onto a horse and gives chase! Zedd explains that the Margrave of Rothenburg is most likely responsible as he is the only one who has pet Gars. He explains that there is a powerful spell of protection in the castle walls, to which Kahlan is being taken, that prevents his magic from working, Cara’s a’giel from working and even the Confessors power from working.
Kahlan was captured and has something to do with a special agreement that the Margrave has planned with his special friends. Kahlan does what ever good prisoner does and attempts to escape by attacking the guards however she is thrown into a cell with another woman. Turns out that other woman is the wife of the man holding Kahlan prisoner.
Sister Nicci is having a little camp fire, you know the one with the green flame where Darken Rahl appears? Yep, that one. She has a little tete a tete with Rahl and basically calls him an incompetent wuss. She tells Rahl that the Keeper must give the Margrave protection from death in exchange for the Mother Confessors life. She reminds him that the prophecy says as long as the Confessor lives the Keeper will fail.
Richard seems a little out of character in this episode, discussing plans, like a Sapper, on how to tunnel under the walls and blah blah blah. Zedd brings him back to reality and reminds him that they don’t have magic. He then explains to Richard that there is another way. Muahahahahahaha enter Cara the beautiful!! Zedd outlines a plan where Cara will impersonate a Princess (hence the title) and that Zedd will impersonate her aunt. Yes, I said it, her AUNT! Zedd is going to play the part of a woman. Cara isn’t having any of this though and states that she doesn’t meet the criteria, Zedd insults her a little bit and all of a sudden Richard is dragged in to it as well (with Blond hair? really? yuck!)
Side bar: I know Richard is a buff guy and plays the manly man very well but he looks like a cream puff with his little fru fru outfit and blond hair. Bahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha. I give Craig Horner major props for pulling that off without laughing at himself! You’re more manly than I!
Anyways, turns out there is another woman there who is a potential Wife to the Margrave and this woman (Drucilla) and Cara must square off in a battle of charm, sexiness and rhyme. For some reason the woman of this realm must speak in rhyme. Can you imagine Cara trying to rhyme about romantic things? Anyways Zedd has to do a little covering for Cara who is rolling her eyes, wanting nothing more than to thump the Margrave and get things done her way.
Back in the prison Kahlan is making plans of her own. She thinks that since there are only 5 guards she can bust herself out of there and open a can of whoop ass. She takes the plate and begins to form a weapon, all the while admonishing her cell mate about her rights as a woman and not to give up etc. etc. etc.
Richard asks the Margrave if he can take a tour of the palace. His intent is to seek out Kahlan however the Margrave assigns a Herald to go with Richard. Richard is bored to tears of the tour however women seem to throw themselves at him as Prince Rodderick (whom he is impersonating) has some serious street cred when it comes to the ladies. Turns out the Herald has a crush on Zedd. Yes, I said that correctly.
Back in the Court, Cara and Drucilla are battling it out with Rhyme and… some sort of knitting / crochet. Cara’s turns out to look like… well… nothing… but her rhyming takes on a whole new level when she mentions how she tortured one of her servants and how he gave her no trouble after that. Richard must seduce one of the Margraves sister and Zedd points to the larger of the two women. Richard asks the blessing of the spirits and goes forth to seduce said woman (lol).
Richard and the woman make out but he doesn’t get anything but trouble from it.
Cara and Zedd decide that Cara will go on the hunt with the Margrave. She does so and slays a beast like it’s nothing more than putting on a dress. She cuts out the heart and takes a bite of it, really turning on her sexy charm explaining how it’s an aphrodisiac. The Margrave is a little hot under the collar for Cara all of a sudden.
Back at the Palace of the Sisters of the Dark arrive and Nicci brings the signed document to the Margrave thus protecting him from death when the Keeper wins. Cara attempts to seduce the Margrave with her charms and ways.
Something draws Sister Niccis attention to Zedd and all of a sudden Nicci recognizes him as the great Wizard Zeddicus, who opened a major can of lightning whoop ass and killed her. She tells him that he isn’t the only one whose appearance has changed.
A Big Battle Ensues (just like in every episode). Zedd and Richard must slay a bunch of Sisters of the Dark.
Cara uses her REAL charm to get the key for the prison and she lets Kahlan out.
A running battle ensues and results in Sister Nicci jumping out the window to escape the magic block on the castle. During her fall she teleports away surely to wreck havoc once again in another episode.
The Margrave is left with no wife (she escaped with Kahlan from the prison), no potential wife (Drucilla left when she heard that no permanent protection from death was part of the marriage deal) and no Sister Nicci with the Keepers deal.
Back outside the castle the Scooby gang is given sage advice by Kahlan about plunging necklines, skirt hems and Richards hair color before they once again venture off and continue the Quest.
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